Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. - Proverbs 28:13

As every man is bound to make private confession of his sins to God, praying for the pardon thereof, upon which, and the forsaking of them, he shall find mercy; so he that scandalizeth his brother, or the Church of Christ, ought to be willing, by a private or public confession and sorrow for his sin, to declare his repentance to those that are offended, who are thereupon to be reconciled to him, and in love to receive him. WCF 15.6

A Five-Fold Taxonomy (12-minute read)

I have said for a long time, confession, repentance, forgiveness, restoration, and reconciliation are the grease to the skids of the Christian life. These concepts allow our lives as sinners living amongst other sinners, to be smooth, and our love for others to be prevailing. Apart from an adequate understanding of these biblical doctrines, we will be living a life that is strained and stressed by what others do to us, and by what we do to others. We will wallow in bitterness, resentment, and we will live in angst rather than peace among all. And, this becomes especially crucial when we consider our relationship with the Lord. 

What is a good confession then? How do we confess our sins rightly, and where does the Bible tell us how to do this? There are several immediate examples that jump out of scripture and help understand what to do and how to do it, but we will address only one here: David. In the life of David, we see a sinner, wandering and broken, with a desire to return to the Lord, a right confession of treachery, seeking forgiveness, reconciliation of the relationship, and restoration as a blessed result. 

David's Sin:

In 2 Samuel, we are made privy to one of the most iconic sins in scripture: David's adultery with Bathsheba, 

It happened, late one afternoon, when David arose from his couch and was walking on the roof of the king's house, that he saw from the roof a woman bathing; and the woman was very beautiful. And David sent and inquired about the woman. And one said, “Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?” So David sent messengers and took her, and she came to him, and he lay with her...Then she returned to her house. 2 Samuel 11:2-4

At the outset, we notice that David’s sin did not begin and end with his actual adultery, but it began here, as David was walking on the roof of the king’s house. David had sent out his army with great skill to ravage and besiege his enemies. While this was occurring, however, David’s heart was being ravaged and besieged by sinful lust and adultery (Matthew 5:28). While David’s army was conquering his enemies, his heart was itself being conquered by hungry passion, resulting in bringing upon himself great shame and the guilt of breaking God's commandment (Exodus 20:14; Job 33:14).

What follows this adulterous scene is the compounding effect of sin and the shame it brings. Out of desperation and a desire to conceal his sin, David invites Uriah, the husband of Bathsheba, home from war. David acts with duplicity and makes small talk with Uriah: how is Joab, how are the people, how is a war going? His questions are hollow because he has no true care for Uriah.  David is not his friend but instead deals in exploitation to cover up his transgressions. 

This scene continues with David urging Uriah to go eat and drink and lie with Bathsheba, his wife. However, because Uriah is a man of honor, he refuses the king's offer, and instead, he sleeps on the doorsteps of the king's house. He refuses to live in luxury and passion while his fellow countrymen are asleep on the battlefield. So, with a few more failed attempts to seduce Uriah into copulation with his wife, we see the end of David’s efforts, and we are made privy to David’s final act of malevolence: murder.  David writes to Joab saying, 

Set Uriah in the forefront of the hardest fighting, and then draw back from him, that he may be struck down, and die.

2 Samuel 11:15

David’s Confession, Repentance, Forgiveness

Following this event, we are told: “the thing that David had done was evil in the sight of the Lord.” Despite David’s secrecy, God had seen all that was in David’s heart, and he saw all that he had done (2 Chronicles 16:9). Because of this, the prophet Nathan was sent by God to confront David for his transgression. Nathan tells David a parable of a rich man and a poor man, one with a lone ewe lamb and the other with many flocks and herds. The rich man came to be in need of lamb to prepare for a guest, and rather than taking one of his many from his own flocks, he stole the poor man’s ewe lamb and prepared it for his guest. Because of this parable, David’s anger was kindled, and he declared that the rich man deserves death and that there be a fourfold restoration of the poor man’s stolen property. 

As we read this event in scripture it can provoke sincere anger, and can produce a sarcastic laugh at the denseness we observe of David. It makes the blood boil when we really ponder the depth of this type of deception and betrayal. But lest we boast of our own goodness, we must pause and reflect for a moment. We are all deceived greatly by sin. We all become doltish when we indulge in sin. This is the nature of it and of ourselves. We will even sin, and then say we have not sinned (1 John 1:8). So we must remember that we are no better than David. We are not more righteous than he. And, we are just as guilty as David is. This simple truth of our sinfulness must humble us to our knees, and cause in us sincere worship of God (Romans 7:24-25). 

Confession:

Nathan concludes by telling David that he is the rich man in this parable and that he has condemned himself to death! And this realization, along with the consequences for his sins (2 Samuel 12:10-12) drove David to respond with an immediate and unqualified confession: “I have sinned against the Lord” (2 Samuel 12:13). 

David’s full confession is captured in Psalm 51 and 32, the contents of which are magnificent and rich. In these Psalms, we see a man who is broken over his sin, the betrayal of his people, but most of all his perfidy toward the Lord. In these Psalms, he pleads for mercy and cleansing. He recognizes that his sin is pervasive and natural, and his only hope is the Lord’s kindness toward him. He extols God’s kindness in forgiving his transgression, and a deep desire to be found in God alone, and to be redeemed. 

Repentance: 

David shows his repentance as he confesses that he will show others the way they should go (Psalm 51:13) indicating that he has set his face to follow the law of the Lord, and flee transgression. David desires a clean heart (Psalm 51:10) because he knows that sin has caused him to be filthy, and unworthy of God’s grace. But because God is a redeemer, David knows that he can cleanse him. His concern isn’t that his reputation would be restored among the people, but his chief concern is that his corrupt nature would be changed. 

Forgiveness:

In this account, we are not told whether David sought forgiveness from Bathsheba, but we are told that he sought it from the Lord, who is ultimately the most important person we sin against. Moreover, the Lord does forgive David. In 2 Samuel 12:13, Nathan says, “the Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die.” In other words - although David rightly deserves to die, like the rich man in the parable above, God will be merciful toward him. God will forgive him because David has repented (Proverbs 28:13). Despite the prevailing consequences of David’s sin, he can be glad and shout for joy in the Lord because he has been cleansed of his sin and counted righteous because of the Lord's forgiveness (Psalm 32:11). In forgiving David, God chooses to not bring his sins to his mind. God puts his sins as far as the east is from the west, and will not bring them up to hurt David. 

David’s Reconciliation & Restoration

It is not true that in every case where confession and repentance of sin are required, that the relationship between the parties involved is restored. Think for instance, in the case of legitimate divorce after adultery (Matthew 19:9) or abandonment (1 Corinthians 7:15). In these cases, the parties may be reconciled but they are by no means restored. To be restored would be to reunite, or be made whole again, but in each of these instances, they have departed from their former way of living and are not going to be restored to the way it was. They may be sincerely reconciled, meaning, the parties have confessed their sins to one another, have repented and been forgiven, and there is no bitterness or resentment between them. They have put each other's sins away and have chosen to remember them no more. In other words, they are reconciled, but they are not going to entrust themselves to one another again, out of a desire to be wise and not naive. 

However, In the case between God and David, we do not see the Lord stopping short of restoration, but we see them reconciled and restored. 

Reconciliation:

Again we look to 2 Samuel 12 and verse 13. David hears God’s scathing review of his sin, David receives his due penalty, he is grieved and immediately confesses his sin, and then Nathan declares, “The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die.” This is a startling word from God. For, in the moments leading up to God forgiving David, there is no doubt that David believed himself to be a dead man. He was certain that his life was to be completely over. And, although his life did radically change after this event, what did not change was God’s love for him and his faithfulness to his promises. 

We are reminded of David’s words in Psalm 103:10: “He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.” Surely David is speaking here from experience. But, he knew well the divine character of God, and likewise he knew to what endless degree he had provoked God to anger, and yet never did he receive what he deserved. 

Restoration:

When we think of our restoration with God after we have sinned, it may be difficult at first to see what this means. But a closer look at how we commune with God will make this point very clear. We fellowship with the Lord in various ways, but chiefly, it is through our worship and offering of sacrifices (Hebrews 13:15) and as partakers of his body and blood in the Lord’s supper. So, when we read David’s confession in Psalm 51, this is the exact scenario we find. We see God once again accepting David’s worship and sacrifice. David writes that God delights in sacrifices of offerings only after the sacrifice of a broken spirit and a broken and contrite heart have been offered (Psalm 51:16-17). And only after our hearts have been made right with the Lord does he accept the offerings we bring to him (v19). But it is this very offering that shows that the Lord has accepted David’s worship again, and this means that they are restored. David’s worship is once again pleasing to God, and in this sense there is no greater restoration that one could ever attain. 

Conclusion

This five-fold taxonomy is one of the most magnificent doctrines in the entire Bible. Laced throughout and within and among this teaching is nothing less than the gospel of Jesus Christ. In Ephesians, Paul encourages his readers to “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). This is because forgiveness of our sins is exactly what the gospel is about. We are cleansed from sin by the blood of Jesus Christ. In another place, Peter tells of a heavenly vision in which the Lord was showing the inclusion of the gentiles (Acts 11:1-18). After hearing the vision, the elders conclude by saying “Then to the Gentiles also God has granted repentance that leads to life” (v18). By this they indicate that repentance is crucial to our lives in Christ. Confession of sin and repentance and forgiveness is how we come into communion with the Lord. And then he grants his people the wonderful privilege of being like him and offering forgiveness to other repentant sinners. 

Let us be encouraged to be like our Heavenly Father in forgiveness, and like David in confession and repentance.