Reformed & Confessional

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Counseling Theology: Proper Roles of Men and Women

Introduction

It does not require a Ph.D. to be able to look around and notice that God designed mankind in two very distinct forms and that he did this in a very deliberate and obvious fashion. God made mankind male and female, and up until roughly 5 minutes ago, this was an undisputed fact. In Genesis 1:27 God created man in his own image, and in this act of creation, he made them male and female. God created two different genders, each made in the image and likeness of God, with different roles, as well as different bodies. However, in our day there are various views on what a man or woman actually is, but here I will address two of the more common views of our functions.

The Egalitarian View

The egalitarian view regarding gender sees that there are no role distinctions made either explicitly or implicitly in scripture. Within this view, both men and women have an equal responsibility to use their gifts to glorify the Lord with no limitations or privileges that corresponds to the gender they have been given by God. In other words, the role of men and women are completely interchangeable. Certain scriptures are used in support of the equality of men and women, such as 1 Corinthians 11:11-12 which show that neither men nor women are independent of each other and that now all men come forth from women. Galatians 3:28 is another scripture cited because Paul here says that there is now “…neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ.”

Egalitarians also teach that women are not to be subordinate or submissive to men because of the fact that men and women are created for equal partnership. Although Eve was called Adam’s helper in Genesis 2:18, this does not put her in subjection to him, because the term helper is also contributed to God very frequently throughout the scripture (ex. John 14:26). To the egalitarian, equality before God does not mean only in ontology, but also in mission, responsibility, role, and purpose.

 The Complementarian View

The complementarian view sees men and women as being made by God in order to complement each other. They each have particular strengths, weaknesses, and abilities that – when used in their proper sense – issue in human flourishing and happiness. This position also holds that men and women were created with the same essential dignity, value, and worth, both being made in God’s image and likeness. They have the same ontology, in other words. Complementarianism uses scripture passages such as Ephesians 5:22-24, Colossians 3:18-19, 1 Peter 3:1-6, Titus 2:4-5, and others to teach the humble submission of wives to their husbands after the order and example of Christ’s submission to the Father, and the natural order of creation shown with Adam and Eve. Women have glorious and important roles to play, but because Eve was made after Adam, to be his helper, she was called to be in submission to him. Complementarians also look to 1 Timothy 2:11-13 to show that women are not to exercise authority over men within the context of the church, showing that the role of elder within the church is reserved for men. 

Conclusion

I believe the complementarian - or Patriarchal - view is the only tenable view that one could reasonably derive from the scriptures. It should be said, however, that in almost every point of argument from the egalitarian side I would have some degree of agreement. When they argue that women are equal to men in dignity, value, and worth I wholeheartedly agree. When they say that Adam was just as much responsible for the first sin I would argue that he was actually chiefly responsible for Eve’s sin (while she still bore guilt for her sins), and that both find their salvation in Christ alone.

However, those holding to that view (both outside and inside the church) disregard the natural order of God’s creation, and unfortunately, pick and choose which scriptures they wish to obey, and misuse the scriptures they choose to uphold their argument. They confuse equality regarding creation and salvation with role, purpose, and composition. Man is not head because of a capricious order of things, but because Christ has willfully submitted himself to the Father. Scriptures like Ephesians 5:22-25 and Titus 2:5 describe, in no uncertain terms, the role of women as well as the role of men are often either disregarded or misunderstood. The role of men and women are both lofty, needed, and dignified, but they are different, and we should praise God for this difference. Women are not diminished in a biblical model of headship and submission, in fact, they are protected, loved, and given the work in which they can grow and thrive best! It is in this difference that the church will flourish and endure!