Response to MacArthur’s View of Marital Submission
Introduction
I am quite certain that many readers of Reformed and Confessional are at least appreciative of John MacArthur and his ministry. Indeed, he has been a faithful servant of Christ, being quite willing to do and say things throughout his tenure that have been full of courage, to say the least. He has progressed the Kingdom of God on the earth in his preaching and teaching ministry, as well as with The Master’s University and its explicit Christian education along with its seminary. MacArthur is directly responsible for the superb training of many men that have entered full time ministry, and he is an example to emulate for his many decades of faithful and untarnished ministry to Christ’s bride as an under shepherd.
Personally, I have benefitted greatly from MacArthur. When I was first learning of the reformed faith I listened to him on the radio every single day. I read many of his books including his biblical counseling books, of which I have benefitted greatly. His was my first Study Bible. The list could go on.
I say all this because what follows is in no way intended to tarnish the man’s reputation, legacy, or years of faithful labor. As a matter of fact, what follows isn’t really so much a disagreement as it is what I believe to be a necessary point of clarification for one particular teaching of his, which I believe, if left uncorrected, will (and has) cause great trouble for many families.
The *explicit* Issue
In a recent Facebook spat, one “friend” of mine entered into an argument with me regarding the submission of wives to their husbands. To make the matter short, he claimed that Ephesians 5:21 requires that husbands be in submission to their wives. This fella went so far as to say that Ephesians 5:21 explicitly says that husband’s ought to submit to their wives. Just so were all on the same page, the passage says:
“Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ”
See where it says that husbands must submit to their wives, *explicitly*? Yeah. Me either. At any rate. The conversation between him and I culminated in his offbeat interpretation that Paul’s usage of “allelon” (one another) throughout the New Testament exegetically requires that husbands be in submission to their wives. Off-kilter to say the least. His last thrust was to send an article my way, which was an excerpt from John MacArthur’s very popular sermon series “The Fulfilled Family.”
In this article, among other things that we’ll get to, JMac says,
“But if that’s the command Scripture gives to wives [to submit to their own husbands], does the principle of mutual submission really mean that the husband must submit to the wife as well? It certainly does.”[1]
A statement that makes you tilt you head, to say the least.
(Just as a side note, JMac also suggests that fathers must be in a kind of submission to their children)
Lord and A Vassal
This issue with the position of JMac is his usage of terms. As with literally everything else, the words we use are of grave importance. It is important to note that in the article JMac says a man ought to “support his wife by helping bear her burdens and shoulder all her cares, even if it means sacrificing his own desires to meet her needs” which is of course, of course, a thousand times, yes, it true! Any husband, especially a Christian husband, not doing this is failing to meet his obligation and is in sin. However, what should this be called? JMac calls this “a different kind of submission.” He says,
“It’s a different kind of submission—not submission to her as an authority figure, but a loving willingness to sacrifice for her, serve her, and seek her good. In other words, the godly husband’s main aim must be to please his wife rather than merely doing his own will and demanding that she get in line.”
This, however, is terribly problematic. The word submission can only be rightly used in relation to a lesser and a greater; a lord and a vassal; a leader and a subordinate. Biblical authority and submission is a fundamental Trinitarian concept meaning the voluntarily giving up one's will, desires, and authority to a higher power. So, if this “different kind of submission” is not “submission to her as an authority figure” then it is not submission. You cannot submit to a lesser power, because to do so would, definitionally, make them the higher power.
The “Submission” of Christ
JMac makes another blunder. He goes on to say that,
“Paul went on to say in verses 25–29 that the husband owes the wife the same kind of love and devotion Christ showed for the church: “just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). There is no greater act of submission than to die for someone, and that is precisely what Christ did for the church. Since husbands are commanded to love their wives the way Christ loved the church, this requires the ultimate self-sacrifice of submission and service on the wife’s behalf.” (emphasis mine)
Notice what JMac is doing here. He is correct to say that the husband is called to imitate his care for his wife after the care of Christ for the church. Again, a thousand times yes! However, he has made an impetuous and inept error by saying that in Christ’s sacrifice, he was in submission. Now, to be sure, Christ was in submission to the Father. In the economy of the Trinity, the Son submits fully to the Father. But here the clear comparison is between Christ and the church, not Christ and the Father.
When JMac says, “There is no greater act of submission than to die for someone, and that is precisely what Christ did for the church” he is making a categorical error. Christ does not submit to the church. Christ will never submit to the church. He languishes for her, bleeds for her, dies for her, but never submits to her. To call his acts of self-sacrifice submission is, frankly, to allow one verse (Ephesians 5:21) be the impetus and foundation for the exegetical understanding of the entire story of redemption.
The marriage relationship is to mirror the relationship between Christ and the church.
Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…”
Ephesians 5:32 “This mystery [the union of one man and one woman] is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”
This being the case, we would expect to see the bible clearly outline this relationship between husbands and wives, so that they may accurately mirror Christs relationship to his bride, as best as possible.
The Mirroring
Instruction for wives to be in submission:
Ephesians 5:22 “Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.”
Ephesians 5:24 “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”
Titus 2:4-5 “…train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
1 Corinthians 11:3 “But I want you to understand that the head of everyman is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”
Instructions for wives that heavily implies submission:
1 Timothy 5:14 “so I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.”
1 Corinthians 14:33-35 “As in all the churches of the saints, the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the law also says. If there is anything they desire to learn let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.”
The biblical witness is clear that women are commanded by God to be in a position of submission toward their own husbands. The primary purpose for this is so “the word of God may not be reviled” and so “the adversary [has] no occasion for slander.” When a wife refuses to be obedient to God and live in submission to her husband, she reviles the word of God and gives Satan room to slander Christ. This is why feminism – in all its waves and forms – is demonic and condemns all men and women who abide by it.
A wife is told to be in submission to her husband, because the church is in submission to her husband, Christ. And the husband is the head of his wife in the same way that Christ is the head and authority over the church, (Ephesians 5:23, 1:22-23; Colossians 1:18). Paul goes so far to say that it is the husband’s job to act as Christ toward his wife including giving himself up for her, sanctifying her, and cleansing her with the word to present her to God in splendor (Ephesians 5:25-28). We might say that the husband is Christ to his wife. And because he is God’s glory, and she his, (1 Corinthians 11:3) she owes him her obedience, just as he owes obedience to Christ.
What you’ll notice, is that nowhere in scripture is man commanded to recognize his wife as an authority over him – it simply isn’t there – therefore, he is nowhere called to be in submission to her. Again, concluding that mutual submission from Ephesians 5:21 translates as “husbands must also submit to their wives” is an erroneous and baseless claim. We mirror Christ and the church when wives submit to their husbands and husbands act as Christ toward them.
The Husbands Role
Of course, no article is complete without a little balancing. I know that what has already been said won’t be qualified enough for most, especially those with softer Christian underbellies. Nevertheless, here’s what JMac is saying about husbands.
He starts off by saying that in the family there is “mutual submission between the husband and wife, one that seeks to put each other first (Philippians 2:3).” Now, it is perfectly obvious that the entire Christian life requires putting others before ourselves. JMac quotes Philippians 2:3 as a proof text.
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”
Again, the problem here is not that JMac is calling men to be humble, the issue is that he is calling submission that which is categorically not submission. Humbling oneself, washing the feet of the saints, and being self-sacrificial is not submission – it is the Christian life. It is what every Christian ought to be doing all the time toward everyone. This is behavior that all superiors owe to inferiors and all inferiors owe to superiors (to barrow from the Westminster Larger Catechism on the 5th commandment). The context of Philippians 2 is clearly to emulate the example of Christ in all of life.
“Have this mind among yourselves which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself y takin of the form of a servant.” (Philippians 2:5-7)
Christ becoming a servant to humanity, did not somehow make humanity his lord. That would be utterly preposterous. But this is precisely what using the word “submission” implies, and this is what leads people, who have difficulty employing critical thinking, to unbiblical conclusions.
So, men are absolutely supposed to be Christ their wives. They are to humble themselves, care for their needs, wants, desires. Provide for them. Cover their infirmities with love. Bear with their many weaknesses, provide and protect in all circumstances, and so on. But this does not in any way imply that he is in submission to her. He does this for his wife because he is in submission to Christ, not his bride.
Ephesians 5:21
So, what does Ephesians 5:21 mean then? MacArthur makes a good textual point when he says,
“It’s interesting to note that in the Greek text, the word for “submit” doesn’t even appear in verse 22. The idea is certainly implied, but the Greek expression is elliptical, omitting the word submission, and relying on the force of verse 21 to make the meaning clear. In other words, a literal translation of verses 21–22 would read something like this: “Submit to one another in the fear of God. Wives, to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”
JMac is absolutely correct here. There are some Christians of the more effeminate…excuse me…complementarian bend that will say something like “see, Paul doesn’t tell wives to be in submission to their husbands. Paul doesn’t even use the word there.” Perhaps you haven’t heard this, but I have, and it was startling. At any rate. The word for submit is indeed absent from V22. So, what does this mean?
This means that in the text Paul is setting up an overarching command (submit to one another) and then he lists what that submission looks like in various social and relational spheres of the church. It’s as if he were saying, “Submit to one another in the fear of God, and here’s what that looks like: Wives, to your own husbands, as to the Lord” children to your parents, and slaves to your masters.
Also observe the modern skewing of what it means to submit one to another, or put another way, to be mutually submissive. The term “mutual” means experienced or done by each of two or more parties toward the other or others. It also means something held in common by two or more parties. This is important to understand because what most progenitors of this idea – that husbands are to be submissive to their wives – do, is come to the bible with the need for absolute equality, rather than the desire for biblical equality. Men and women are equal ontologically, they are not equal economically. They imagine that unless submit one to another means something like “I submit to you, and you submit to me” then this passage makes little sense. This is a clear indication that feminism has taken hold in the mind, because among other things, feminism is egalitarian, which requires total equality across the board. So, if a wife must submit to a husband, but he isn’t required to submit to her then there is a clear imbalance and thus this cannot be what Paul means when he says, “one to another.”
However, it is perfectly obvious that not everyone submits to everyone else, and it is foolish to imagine it so. Elders do not submit themselves to parishioners, police do not submit themselves to citizens, and husbands do not submit themselves to wives. What Paul is indicating here is that, although not all people submit to each other, all people do submit to someone. All are called to submit to proper authorities in their lives, and also live sacrificially for the sake of everyone. So, when a wife submits to her husband, and he submits to the elders, they are submitting “one to another” in the appropriate sphere of their submission.
Additionally, as we saw form the myriad biblical texts above, the command for wives to submit to husbands is ubiquitous compared to the supposed command for husbands to submit to their wives.
Conclusion
The overarching theme of Ephesians is that Christ is uniting all things in heaven and on earth in himself (Ephesians 1:9-10). He is making “one new man” out of the Jews and Gentiles. The first three chapters of the letter explain this doctrinally, and the latter three explain how we live as this one new man. In other words, Paul is showing the church how to live a life of redemption in Christ. This means then, that the degree to which a wife refuses to submit to her husband, or a husband ignorantly submits to his wife, is the degree to which the life of redemption is alluding their marriage and family.
Again, John MacArthur is a gift from God to the church and he was a pillar in his generation. Nevertheless, in this instance, JMac has spoken in a confusing and unhelpful way; husbands must live sacrificially for their wives, and wives must live sacrificially for their husbands. Mutual sacrifice, not mutual submission.
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