Our works, which may be called good, are only such as God has commanded in his word, and not those which are devised by men out of blind zeal, or upon any pretense of good intention (WCF 16.1).

When someone is raised with an expectation that what is needed for pardon is to degrade yourself until the offended feels better or continually apologize and grovel until you’ve learned your lesson, it's difficult to see how forgiveness can be so easy and free, or that someone would really desire to forgive you.